


every night is New Year's Eve

by irrasda



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-21 15:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17046347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrasda/pseuds/irrasda
Summary: Gon invites Killua to spend winter at his cabin. They are both about 18.





	1. Surprise

As Killua moved through the forest, his footsteps made no sound and left no mark on the thick, crunchy snow. Since the border—where Killua had only needed to flash his Hunter’s License to be waved through—there had been nothing but empty, snow-covered hills until he’d reached the foot of the mountains and found the forest Gon had described to him. Killua had run most the way but walked now. He was close.

Only a few gigantic trees separated Killua from the beginning of a clearing. At the far side, Killua could see a tiny house with a single window in the wall facing him and a chimney that had smoke coming from it. Gon’s cabin. Killua took a moment to look over the place a little more, at the dark walls made of the same wood as the trees around him, the covered firewood rack near the side of the house, and then headed across the clearing.

The front door opened before Killua even needed to knock.

“Killua, you came.”

It was the first sound Killua had heard in hours.

Killua smiled a massive smile, his breath a small stream of smoke in the cold.

“Well, you invited me.”

Gon smiled back.

At first glance, Gon didn’t seem any different than the last time Killua had seen him except that he’d put on more bulk—noticeable even under the thick sweater he wore. Gon stood aside to let him in.

Killua kicked off his boots. He dropped his backpack onto the hardwood floor, and as Gon helped him out of his purple houndstooth jacket so it could be hung up next to Gon’s huge, warm winter coat, Killua looked around.

“So, this is really your place? You fixed it up yourself?”

“Most of it. I’m grateful to have had people to help and teach me about fixing it up, but I wanted to learn to do most of it myself.”

Excepting a small bathroom in the far-left corner, the cabin was a single room. The area Killua and Gon had come in was what served as the kitchen. There was a tiny fireplace a few large steps ahead nestled into the wall left of them. A very long, green rug lay in front of it. On one side of the fireplace were small stacks of dishes, pots, and utensils. Some of Gon’s food supplies were stacked on the other side. The rest of Gon’s food and belongings were organized to their right. A large bed was crammed into the far-right corner.

“Do you like it?” Gon said. “It’s not nearly as big as your place in Yorknew.”

Killua snorted. “Of course not, that’s a penthouse. But this place is really cool.” Killua also thought it was cool Gon worked on it himself.

Gon only gave a little smile, but his eyes sparkled from Killua’s compliment. “There was so much work to do on this place when my boss let me have it.”

“Your boss gave you this place?” And when Gon said yes, Killua’s thoughts were swarmed with concerns and questions, but he didn’t voice them.

Artemesia Country was where Gon’s cabin was, where Gon and Killua were now. Killua didn’t know the country’s official name, only that its unofficial name came from the fact that the Artemesia family owned almost, if not all, of its land. Much of the land was part of Artemesia Farms. This was where Gon did work in his off-time, where most of the people in this country worked. While Killua knew all of this already, he hadn’t known that Gon was on good enough terms with Asda Artemesia, the family’s head, to be given a house. But all Killua said was, “And he is the one who also gave you those skis?” The massive skis were stored next to a pair of snowshoes near the door and slanted to fit under the low ceiling.

“Yeah,” Gon said as he walked over to stoke the fire. “His daughter’s been teaching me to ski. "She could teach you too, Killua. You’d be great at it.”

Killua moved to sit beside Gon. “Skiing sounds cool.” Snowboarding seemed cooler, but skiing seemed interesting enough. Not that Killua knew anything about either. And while Killua already knew he’d be a better skier than Gon, he did want to see how good Gon was. Killua wondered what other new skill Gon had that he’d soon learn about. Gon’s intense focus and curiosity always had him obsessing over some new job or hobby, and Killua wasn’t there to experience it with him, unlike when they’d used to travel together.

But he was okay with that.

“Are you hungry, Killua? I can heat up some soup for you.”

“Yeah, that’d be good.”

If his friendship with Gon was compared to a lake, years ago, it could’ve been said all Killua wanted was to dive deep and explore its depths. Unbothered by the darkness, excited by the danger, he would’ve gone so deep he’d die if he came up too fast for air, but now he was happy to simply skate along the surface. Gon didn’t want anything more than that, and he didn’t either. Killua told himself he was so much happier now, so much more at peace with himself since he’d realized this and stopped lying to himself and Gon.

Killua leaned back on his hands. He enjoyed his friendship with Gon for what it was. Killua felt the warmth of the fire and how nice it felt to be here. He was going to enjoy this winter vacation for what it was, what most of his trips with Gon usually were: a fun, simple, kinda crazy time together.


	2. Morning

Killua wished he was still allowed to read Gon’s journal. Killua, waiting for Gon to finish getting ready so they could go on a tour of Artemesia Farms, had spotted the leather-bound journal sticking out of Gon’s backpack, and he had wanted so badly to look inside. But he didn’t—Gon didn’t want him to—and had found alternative browsing material: Gon’s newest sketchbook. Right now, Killua was seated on their bed flipping through page after page of plants. Gon wasn’t a good artist, but he loved drawing, so he didn’t care. The page Killua now looked at was covered in leaves, the sketches detailed and carefully labelled. A tiny part of him had always wanted to ask Gon if he could keep one of his sketchbooks, but he knew that was stupid.

The bathroom door opened.

Killua looked up. “You finally ready?”

They’d been up since before sunrise, after staying up past midnight talking. Gon had made breakfast. As always, his cooking was a little bland but filling and warm.

“Yep,” Gon said, dressed and hair done. He flashed Killua a huge, bright smile. “Let’s go.”

 

 

Gon was taking Killua to see the main area of the farm, the main house as he called it. Besides the main house and fields, Killua had been told there were also greenhouses and a dairy among many other things.

“Before coming here,” Gon said, “I’d never heard of an experimental farm. They do lots of stuff here, and it’s all so interesting.”

Killua walked beside Gon, hands in the pockets of his gold bomber jacket. A pair of sunglasses was perched on his head, the massive pink lenses peeking out through his mop of hair. He’d just listened to Gon explain the farm’s previous attempts to grow a type of pest-resistant wheat. None of this was of much interest to Killua personally, but he liked listening to Gon talk about the things he liked. And, as Killua told himself, it’s not like he really had any interests right now. The bodyguard job he’d just worked with Kalluto had been interesting, but Killua wouldn’t have said he had much interest in it.

“My boss has stories about everything, and he’s taught me so much.” Gon’s face was barely visible over the massive scarf wrapped around him, and he wore the same huge overcoat he always did. The idiot never wore a hat. “Everyone at the farm has taught me so much.”

“Are they really such good people?” Killua said. “What kind of people own an entire country?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, only casual, as if he was asking a question about the weather.

“Your family owns an entire mountain.” Gon’s tone was just as casual.

“And they’re not good people.”

There was a pause before Gon spoke again. “The Hunter Association owns an entire country.”

“Yeah.”

They walked in silence, Gon deep in thought and Killua simply letting him think. Killua knew Gon was remembering when he’d gone as a scientist’s assistant to NGL—or what had been NGL before the Hunter Association turned it into a nature reserve. At the time, Gon had told Killua that while he was excited at the chance to explore---it had been during this time when Gon started drawing—being in the country unsettled him, even if he hadn’t been able to articulate why.

Gon spoke again. “Sometimes when I listen to my boss or Carmine or Erin talk, I don’t know what to think. But Peach is my friend. She’d be happy to meet you, Killua.”

Killua didn’t doubt him but one of the names Gon had said sounded familiar. Carmine. Carmine and Erin were the eldest Artemesia children, and Killua was sure his grandfather had named Carmine as a client many, many years ago. He wondered who’d been killed.

Killua changed the topic. The two of them started talking about something else, something sillier.


	3. Evening

There wouldn’t be any snowfall tonight. Gon could tell from the smell of the air, the sounds of the animals, and what he knew of the weather. The sun would be out for their skiing lesson tomorrow; Gon was glad. He was also glad to have Killua here—to be with, to talk to, to warm the bed beside him at night.

Gon knew saying that would only make Killua angry but that was okay. He could still think it. Right now, they lay in bed, Gon on his back, and Killua on his side, head propped up with his hand.

“Killua.”

“Hmm.”

“Are you having fun here?”

“Idiot, don’t ask stupid questions.”

“Well, we’re going to have so much fun tomorrow.”

Gon didn’t want Killua to have a good time--he wanted him to have the _best_ time. Gon waited before speaking again.

“Killua.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve had my Nen for a while,” Gon said feeling Killua tense, “but I’m still so weak. I don’t think I’m going to get much stronger than I am now.”

“Gon…”

“It doesn’t bother me.” And it didn’t. Not the way it had when he was younger. Gon knew he wasn’t the strongest, but he was still strong enough to achieve his goals. He could still do what he wanted. He could still have everything he wanted.

Almost everything.

“I want you to know, Killua, if you ever feel like I’m holding you back or you don’t want to be with me---”

“What’re you,” Killua sputtered and shifted, sitting up so Gon had to sit up. “What’re you talking about?”

“I’m saying it’s okay if you ever think you’d be better off without me.”

“How—how can you say that?” Killua said eyes wide in horror. “Are you serious?”

Gon hadn’t been planning to say this now. The thought had just crossed his mind as it had many, many times before, and he had said it. Talk like this usually made Killua angry—as he was now—but Gon had thought with the mood of the moment Killua would simply shrug it off with a simple ‘don’t be an idiot’ and leave it at that, allowing him to express his feelings without argument.

“How stupid are you?” Killua said and paused, moving away from Gon so he could look straight at him. Killua narrowed his eyes. “You think I care that you’re weak? If that was a problem, I would’ve left you a long time ago.”

“ _Killua!”_

Killua looked away from Gon.

“I’m saying this because I want you to know it’s okay if you do, Killua. You don’t need to blame yourself.”

“So, I need your permission now?”

“Killua, _no_.”

Killua’s voice was a whisper. “You really think I’d leave you after all this time?”

“No.” Gon’s reply was just as quiet. “I always thought when I got my Nen back, it would be like it was before. I would be like I was before.” Gon looked down. “I don’t want to be the one who holds you back, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because of me.” He paused. “I know how you feel, Killua, but remember what I said, okay?”

Gon moved to give Killua some space, but Killua grabbed his hand.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Killua said. “You think you can just say that and leave me?” Before Gon could say anything, Killua pulled Gon back and down onto the bed. Killua climbed on top of him, burying his face in Gon’s neck and pinning Gon down so he couldn’t move.

Gon’s eyes widened; he didn’t move. Gon hadn’t expected Killua to say anything in response to him--Killua didn't talk about his feelings--but he felt like, maybe, this was still an answer.

Gon closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Killua.


End file.
